


Catch of the Day

by ThisCatastrophe



Category: Naruto
Genre: Hidan is a merman, Kakuzu is a sailor, M/M, Sailing AU, Sexual Tension, Stranded, Temptation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 14:46:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15293799
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThisCatastrophe/pseuds/ThisCatastrophe
Summary: Kakuzu just wants to go home, but his ship is full of water.Who's the pesky merman hanging around, anyway?





	Catch of the Day

**Author's Note:**

> Commissioned for syndellwins over on tumblr, a gift from shipcat! Merman/Sailor KakuHida AU. Have fun.

Dip, lift, throw. Dip, lift, throw.

The water seems endless, but Kakuzu knows he’s patched the holes. His ship’s hull should hold until he reaches shore. All that’s left to do now is bail the water, seal over the patches and row to shore. Everything, this whole misguided fishing trip, will be behind him soon enough. 

“Hey, old man, looks like you’re not making a bunch of headway.”

Weighed down from the port side, the tiny craft tilts, threatening to flip entirely and dump him into the ocean. Sure enough, he’s back, elbows hooked over the edge of Kakuzu’s lifeboat.

It’s the mermaid—or merman, he should say. Water-slick silver hair crowns his head, and he grins with a too-many-fanged smile, relaxed against the tiny craft like an animal waiting for feeding time.

“I thought I told you to let me alone,” Kakuzu grumbles. “You’re not anywhere near pretty enough to lure me in there and I’m not in the mood for sharkfin soup.” Dip, lift, throw; seawater splashes on the merman’s head and shoulders. Dip, lift, throw. “So just swim away, siren.”

The merman scoffs and smooths his wet hair back down on his scalp. “Siren? Old man, I’m not getting up on any rocks and singin’ anytime soon.” He leans his cheek on a palm and smiles broadly. “Unless you’ve got some  _ rocks _ you want me to climb up on?”

“Doubt that’ll even work.” Dip, lift, throw. Kakuzu applies himself at his work with a steel face and the even pace of a man used to labor at sea. Slowly he watches a saltring appear on the boat’s insides, proof positive of his progress, and he lets his heart celebrate just a little. A finite number of bails, a finite process of repairing the broken oars, a finite number of strokes until he reaches the shore. He’ll be home.

Empty handed, unfortunately.

The boat tips again as the merman leans in, swishing a hand through the water that fills the floor. “Quite a storm, there, captain,” he comments. “You’re lucky you didn’t get thrown overboard to the sharks, ain’tcha?”

“Hm. You’re quite unlucky, in that case.”

Kakuzu feels the merman scowling at him, but it doesn’t matter. Dip, lift, throw. A few more hours.

“Okay, okay. Let’s start over.” Kakuzu is nearly thrown to the deck as the merman releases the boat, and he hisses in irritation when the splash of his unwanted guest’s departure throws more water into the boat. Dip, lift, throw, and goddamnit, here he is again, directly in his starboard-side bailing path. Splash.

“Afternoon, sailor,” says the merman. “Be not afraid! I am the lovely Hidan, here to seduce you into your watery grave.” He gives a wry smile and covers his mouth in a faux-scandalized pose. “Oh, my, was that out loud?”

“I believe the point of seducing sailors to their watery graves is to, as I recall,” Dip, lift, throw. “Actually lure sailors to their watery graves, instead of warning them about your intentions straight-out.” Kakuzu turns again and bails to the port side, keeping his back to the merman.

Quick as a flash, Hidan dips under the waves and crosses beneath the boat, appearing once again on the port side. “Oh, I like being up front about the watery grave thing. Gotta know what you’re getting into.” He winks and bobs in the water, showing off suntanned shoulders and impressive muscles. “But trust me, the _ prelude _ to the watery grave…  _ that’s _ worth it.” 

“Not interested. Now leave me alone.”

“Hm. Nah.” Hidan spins in the water and casts his arms out, indicating the vast and empty ocean around them. “Nobody else to hang out with. It may as well be you, my friend.”

“Don’t call me your friend.”

But the merman stays. He swims laps around the little boat, shows Kakuzu the barnacles that cling to the underside of his ship and whines about being bored. But he stays.

And when Kakuzu finishes bailing water, touching up the patches, lashing the two broken oars together into one kayak-paddle, Hidan coos and claps. It’s almost believable, and Kakuzu (before he kicks himself for falling into the merman’s tricks) glows just the slightest with his praise.

“What a sailor,” Hidan comments. Kakuzu keeps a firm grip on the paddle as Hidan looks it over, but his admiration for the craft seems genuine. “I still think you should have come down here with me. We’d have lots of fun, you know.”

Kakuzu scoffs and sits, exhausted, against the prow of his ship. “Sure we would.” 

Tiny waves ripple in all directions, as if they were the only specks of motion in the entire warm sea. The sailor knows better to row at high noon; there will be an endless cool summer evening perfect for travel. For now, rest. 

Wet hair, silver-grey, lands on his neck as Hidan leans over the side of the craft. His hands rest on Kakuzu’s shoulders, for once not swatted away, and his chin nuzzles into a collar. The infinite seawater minutes slide by, and so do Hidan’s hands along Kakuzu’s chest, warm with sweat, and his lips trim the curve of an ear.

“Say, sailor, I think I’m wearing you down,” he murmurs. “You know, I’m impressed by you. How about you come down just for a minute? Just let me  _ congratulate _ you, then you can go home.”

“Congratulate me,” Kakuzu repeats. Hidan’s hands, long and well-formed, perfect mockeries of human bone and muscle, gingerly explore his torso; he watches their path like a coiled serpent. “That sounds… nice, really.”

“You really think so?”

Kakuzu pulls back and swivels just in time to see Hidan’s facade falter: the sly smirk turns into a boyish look of wonder. He’s won, here’s his prize. 

Might as well gift-wrap it, Kakuzu thinks. He leans forward and beckons Hidan in.

The mouth of a merman, he finds, tastes like brine, nicely so, and bright kelp and beachfruits. His human tongue slides against an imitation of itself, exploring, tracing shark teeth and biting supernaturally-temping lips, just enough to tease

Pull back, bite,

Offer just enough,

Slip the one intact net from under the oars,

Wrap a hand in that silver-grey hair so he doesn’t notice the other one,

Lift.

Kakuzu returns home not entirely unsatisfied, not entirely empty-handed, and much more slowly than he imagined. He had failed to calculate in the extra cargo weight. 


End file.
